Distancing & Derailment

I was speaking with an acquaintance recently, and he shared with me that he has discovered the beauty of small talk. He had been talking about how much he hates small talk when someone had pointed out to him that small talk fosters social cohesion; it is a way for us to find commonality and … Continue reading Distancing & Derailment


I was facilitating a caucus the other day, and the topic of discussion was apologizing: the pieces that need to be in place for us to make a sincere apology and how we can quell our natural instinct to defensiveness. About half way through the session, one of the participants turned to me and said, … Continue reading Underpinnings

Putting Relationships First

Equity Matters, a Seattle-based consulting firm, has a set of ground rules they use for workshops and discussions. One of those ground rules is, “Put relationships first -- Work to build community and trust with an awareness of power dynamics.” I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently and what it means to put relationships … Continue reading Putting Relationships First

Taking Negative Feedback

  If being wrong is a learning opportunity, then taking negative feedback gracefully and apologizing for our mistakes also gives us an opportunity to learn and grow. With their infographics, artist and activist Lukayo Estrella has made collective wisdom around taking negative feedback available to all of us. They have also given us a roadmap … Continue reading Taking Negative Feedback

What does it mean to be white and to be paid to do racial justice work?

What does it mean to be white and to be paid to do racial justice work? What are the ethics of me, a white person, making money off racial oppression? I struggled with these questions a lot once I decided to try to make anti-racism facilitation my career. I had been doing this work as … Continue reading What does it mean to be white and to be paid to do racial justice work?